ponder, pondering, pondered.

I wonder what’s the main cause of my insomnia; pondering too much or pondering too much over what I’ve pondered. The only time I wouldn’t have something to think about is probably when I’m intoxicated.

Sometimes the world is as crappy as it gets. Living in a place where effort is sometimes never recognized or rewarded. I’ve had friends telling me never to put in 100% less I can’t pull out unscathed. But that ain’t me and if someone should suffer for a 100% invested I would take it like I should. Which led me to realize that over the years, people would somehow find a way to let me down. It isn’t attributed to a lack of effort but to a rather unfortunate string of events and crossroads. At the end of the day, that is the reason why some people are probably best left behind as memories. Because you could give it your all and still be on the wrong end of the order of things. Accepting bad calls and decisions that don’t always come your way is a measure of your character really.


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